The funniest joke in the world?
In October 2002, a British organisation called Laughlab announced the conclusion of a year-long international study to discover the funniest joke in the world. T
hey found that the British, Irish, New Zealanders and Austalians prefer a play on words; that the French, Belgians and Danes have a taste for the surreal and Freudian; that Americans and Canadians enjoy jokes showing one group's superiority over another; and that Germans have the broadest sense of humour because they find almost anything funny.
The following joke was found to be the most popular world-wide:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods, when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead. What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead". There is silence; then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
The top British joke was as follows:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The driver says: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen.
Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
he man replies: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold the monkey for you".
The favourite British word-play was as follows:
Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum".
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that".
The top Franco-Belgian-Danish joke was as follows:
n alsation went into a telegram office, took a blank form, and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof". The clerk politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another woof for the same price". "But", the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all".
The top US-Canadian joke was as follows:
"Where are you from?" Harvard graduate: "I come from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions". Texan: "Okay - so where are you from, jackass?"
The top Australian joke was as follows:
This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very worried.
She says: "Doctor, take a look at me.
When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face.
What's wrong with me, doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes and then calmly says: "Well I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight .."
Dislocating Your Elbow On The Global Stage
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. Yeah, you get the idea.